TurtleFrogMan

Lyrics

I came home for a business trip, my bags in the house just carried.
My wife met me in the living room with just a nightie on
She said “the good news I love you and would like us to stay married”
That’s good news …..

The bad news is I had a one night stand while you were gone.
That’s bad news….
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I stood there with my jaw agape, she’d shocked me into silence
I should have read the tea leaves, should have seen the signs of course
I said, “the good news is I’m angry but I won’t resort to violence
That’s good news …..

The bad news is tomorrow I’ll be filing for divorce.
That’s bad news….
==============
I left to find a hotel room consumed with indignation
And I’m at the front desk of a hotel close by, down the street
He said, The good news is we have a room without a reservation
That’s good news …..

The bad news is its what we call our honeymooner suite
That’s bad news….
================
So I’m sitting at the hotel bar still numb and somewhat shocked
And I’m telling the bartender of the burdens that I carry
He said, the good news we’ve got it all, the bar is quite well stocked
That’s good news …..

The bad news is the joy it brings is only temporary
That’s bad news….
================
And few stools down this gorgeous woman carefully inspects me
And she got up from her stool and took the stool that’s on my right
She said, “the good news is I’m single and I find you very sexy
That’s good news …..

The bad news is a charge a hefty fee to spend the night
That’s bad news….
===============
So I bought us many rounds of drinks, we partied to the hilt
She brightened up my mood her disposition was so sunny
The good news is my wife just cheated so I felt no pangs of guilt
That’s good news

The bad news is I would have to pay this girl a lot of money
That’s bad news….
=================
The honeymooner suite decor had a tackiness of fashion
With a Heart shaped bed and pillows and a bottle of free bubbly

The good news is we kissed with our tongues in a fervent heat of passion
That’s good news

The bad news is the more we kissed the more her face felt stubbly
That’s bad news….
===================
So I asked “are you a woman? Your face is rough like you have stubble”
She dropped her pants and at the same time dropped a big bombshell

The good news is I stayed quite calm, uninterested in trouble
That’s good news

The bad news is I was drunk and horny and I figured - what the hell?
That’s bad news….
===================
I went back home the next day and confessed my indiscretion
And after the therapy, keeping our marriage together is what my wife wants

The good news is our marriage has been great since my confession
That’s good news

The bad news my butt’s been very sore for many months
The bad news is ,,,,,,

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