TurtleFrogMan

Lyrics

She slammed the door loudly, she tore at her hair then she clawed at her face and she wailed
I tiptoed away and I very discretely put clothes in a suitcase and bailed
You might ask yourself: ‘what’s afflicted this woman, what causes such dreadful distress?
I’m not a doctor but speak from experience: she has what’s called PMS

So, as I explained she was having a melt down, I packed a few things and skedaddled
Sometimes its better to run than to fight as you know if a pit bull you’ve battled.
I get a room at a nearby hotel and I wait for her flow to subside
I’m not a doctor but speak from experience: she suffers from crimson tide

Darling, you know that I love you for numerous reasons, multitudinous reasons the reasons are myriad

So, It pains me to say
That I must stay away
For the 5 or 6 days of every month that you’re having your period

After a few days, I drove by the house to ensure it was not set alight
I decided to venture inside just to check and make sure everything was alright
She’s leaps from behind the door holding a butcher’s knife, threatening me with castration!
I’m not a doctor but speak from experience: she’s got a wicked menstruation!

Darling, you know that I love you for numerous reasons, multitudinous reasons the reasons are myriad

So, It pains me to say
That I must stay away
For the 5 or 6 days of every month that you’re having your period

I wrestled the butcher knife out of her hands and immobilized her with ju jitsu
You might accuse me of story embellishment but I assure that it’s true!
For five or six days every month from my house to a local hotel I must go
I’m not a doctor but speak from experience: she’s got a mean Aunty Flo!

Darling, you know that I love you for numerous reasons, multitudinous reasons the reasons are myriad

So, It pains me to say
That I must stay away
For the 5 or 6 days of every month that you’re having your period