From the recording A Right Way To Do Everything
A young, eager son asks his dad to take him fishing. The father, full of paternal pride and a rigid philosophy that “there’s a right way to do everything,” insists on turning the outing into a lengthy, meticulous lesson. He methodically explains every single component of the fishing rod — the reel, threading the line, tying knots, attaching the hook, adding sinkers/weights, and finally baiting with a worm — while repeatedly telling his impatient son to “hold your horses.”
The boy keeps politely interrupting with “thanks dad, this is really fun… but can we go fishing yet?” The father brushes him off each time, insisting that any fool can just cast a line, but a real man does it properly.
The lesson drags on so long that, by the time the father finally declares they’re ready to actually go fishing “next week,” he suddenly suffers a heart attack. In his final moments, he twists his own life philosophy into a grim punchline: “Any fool can have a heart attack / but a man knows how it’s properly done.”
The song ends with the father still clutching his chest and repeating his mantra, while the son watches in confusion and concern.
Lyrics
S: Dearest Dad, my daddy, let’s go fishing, can we go?
D: Of course, we can my little son, its time that you should learn
D: the skills of fishing are the sort that every man must know!
D: and teaching you the proper way to fish is my concern!
D: First, son, there’s a fishing rod, I’ll demonstrate with mine
D: the rod is equipped with what’s known as a reel, remember this son, don’t forget
D: we push the reel down and it releases out our line
S: thanks dad! This is really fun but we can go fishing yet?
D: Now, hold your horses son of mine!
D: My very impatient son!
D: Any fool can cast a line
D: but a man knows how its properly done
There’s a right way to do everything
You should let that be your guiding light
Theres a right way to do everything
So if you’re gonna do it, do it right
D: Now, where was I? Oh, yes, the reel! I nearly just forgot
D: we thread the line up through the pole and through each round eyelet
D: and now I’ll teach you how to tie the standard fishing knot
S: thanks dad. This is really fun. Can we go fishing yet?
D: Now, hold your horses son of mine!
D: My very impatient son!
D: Any fool can cast a line
D: but a man knows how its properly done
There’s a right way to do everything
That should be your guiding light
Theres a right way to do everything
So if you’re gonna do it, do it right
D: Come closer son, come closer and be sure and closely look
D: Move closer to me darling son, as close as you can get
D: Watch me and I’ll teach you how to tie this fishing hook
S: thanks dad. This is really fun. Can we go fishing yet?
D: Now, hold your horses son of mine!
D: My very impatient son!
D: Any fool can cast a line
D: but a man knows how its properly done
There’s a right way to do everything
That should be your guiding light
Theres a right way to do everything
So if you’re gonna do it, do it right
D: Now, where was I, oh yes the hook, the hook must hold our bait
D: The hook must stay attached when in the fishes’ mouth its set
D: Once we’ve tied the hook, why then we’ll tie the fishing weight
S: thanks dad. This is really fun. Can we go fishing yet?
D: Now, hold your horses son of mine!
D: My very impatient son!
D: Any fool can cast a line
D: but a man knows how its properly done
There’s a right way to do everything
You should let that be your guiding light
Theres a right way to do everything
So if you’re gonna do it, do it right
D: Now, where was I, oh yes the sinkers, often called the weight
D: the sinkers cast the line out far so the fish don’t see the threat
D: Once we’ve tied the weights dear boy we’ll be ready for the bait!
S: thanks dad. This is really fun. Can we go fishing yet?
D: Now, hold your horses son of mine!
D: My very impatient son!
D: Any fool can cast a line
D: but a man knows how its properly done
There’s a right way to do everything
You should let that be your guiding light
Theres a right way to do everything
So if you’re gonna do it, do it right
D: Now, where was I, oh yes the bait, we’ve got to get the fish to bite
D: We’ll put an earthworm on the hook, it wiggles cause it feels upset
D: and then you use your wrist like this to cast the hook out in flight
S: thanks dad. This is really fun. Can we go fishing yet?
D: Now, hold your horses son of mine!
D: My very impatient son!
D: Any fool can cast a line
D: but a man knows how its properly done
There’s a right way to do everything
You should let that be your guiding light
Theres a right way to do everything
So if you’re gonna do it, do it right
D: Alright son, we’re ready to fish! We’ll go to the lake next week!
D: daddy’s not feeling so good all-a-sudden, he probably just needs to rest
D: I’m happy we took all the time that we needed to teach you the proper technique
S: thanks dad. You don’t look so good. Why are you clutching your chest?
D: Let go your horses, don’t hold back!
D: My very impatient son!
D: Any fool can have a heart attack
D: but a man knows how its properly done
There’s a right way to do everything
You should let that be your guiding light
Theres a right way to do everything
So if you’re gonna do it, do it right